“I can’t explain it!” Marsywa squirmed. “It’s the… The land! The ground! The soil! -Whatever! They accept any one, be it the person born on it or stranger. But the people…. The people…” She sighed. “You won’t understand. You don’t… See.”

“See what?” Broker was now even more confused. This classmate of his tried to explain how she tried to figure out something. Something about the land and people.

She shrugged. “The pain… Of feeling like you belong – and don’t, at the same time. I was trying to figure this feeling out. But it’s hard!”

Broker scratched his head. He never thought about those things. He got his parents, his siblings, his friends… Sometimes he gets into fights with them, but they always managed to talk things through in the end. Doesn’t Marsywa also have friends? Family?

The classmate frowned. “I sometimes feel like I don’t belong to them.”

“Like if you were an alien?”

She nodded. “Something like that. But the place is always welcoming. You can leave me alone somewhere, and I won’t feel scared at all because I know that the land greets and takes care of everyone equally everywhere. But the people…”

“People sometimes shun you if you don’t act like they do?” Broker started to gain confidence. Marsywa wasn’t that complicated after all: She only has some social problems!

“Yes,” she replied reluctantly. “I… I love my people. I love everyone, if I may say so. But I guess the sentiment towards my own folk is hurting me more than good.”

Broker tapped on his table. It is true that Marsywa has gotten into trouble with her kin. She claimed that she couldn’t get into the mind of “her people” anymore, but honestly he thinks that she never managed it in the first place. His classmate has a mind of her own, and the people who live in their area just happen to be more tolerable to that kind of individuality. “But maybe it’s just because they can’t keep up with you.”

Which is not something Marsywa wanted to hear. “You are saying they’re dumb?” She fell silent for a moment and sighed. It has been half an hour since they talked about it, and she began to realize how the agitation exhausted her. The girl decided to let herself sit down on the nearest chair before she continued:

“I am a child of this earth, no matter where I go, where I settle down, its land will take care of me. But the people… Not every civilization in every corner of the world will accept me for who I am.”

She sighed again.

“I guess, I just have to accept the fact that the people of the place I was born in also belong to the ones who would shun me.”

Broker still tapped the table. Looking at his classmate, he recalls all the complaints she had about people in general. Marsywa is a complainer alright, but seeing her complain about not belonging to “her people” does make it unsettling.

He had already told her many times that it were alright if she felt like she didn’t belong there. She could lead a happy life here, with people who enjoy her presence and are not bothered by her stubbornness and vocal attitude. Besides, Marsywa is more agreeable than annoying. She has helped her friends more than they together helped her. In short: Her existence here is not a bother, it’s a blessing.

“Just take a rest then Marsywa,” he then decided to say. “You have worked very hard in understanding ‘your people’, and they have disappointed you time and again. Why don’t you just take a break for now and enjoy being accepted? Maybe not by ‘your people’, but does it even matter?”

She hesitated, but shook her head afterall.

“Once you are not bitter about ‘your people’ anymore, maybe you can get a fresh start and eventually understand them. And maybe, you could finally even get along with them.” He paused to give her a chance to reply, but then continued when she only responded with silence. “As you said, sometimes it is necessary to take a step back in order to take ten forwards.”

Marsywa took a deep breath. Broker was right. Maybe she did need a break. It has all been too much for her, she has been hurt by ‘her people’ too many times. Communication is the key to any relationship, and she always gets into misunderstandings with them. Maybe a new perspective, a fresher look would help. But in order to do that, she would need a step back.

“You are right,” she then said. “The earth takes care of me, so I don’t have to worry it doing me harm. Now it is time for me to also enjoy the welcoming arms of people. Maybe not ‘my people’, but what does that even mean?” She paused for a moment. “Besides, if you guys take care of me like the earth does, doesn’t that mean that you are ‘my people’? They may be my kin, but you are the ones who keep me safe and receive me with open arms.”