Sometimes, I wonder if I am a villain, because of all the bad things happening to me. Is it the universe punishing me for all the mischief I did? Did I hurt so many people? Why is that, that bad luck seemed to love piggy-backing on me?

“Zyuvale, it is because you are too strong,” said Herben. She is my appointed companion in this magic school. Since I have arrived here, Herben has helped me going out from every mess I got in, which is not rarely. “The land of Rorg has a unique affinity towards people who was born on it. It just likes to amplify the magical powers of its natives. And you just unconsciously did a negative loop with it!”

I don’t understand. A reason why I came back to Rorg was because every school in Iluskia would not accept me. Too difficult to teach, they said. I always thought that meant that I was just untalented.

My companion noticed my confusion. “Look, imagine a mirror.”

I frowned. But I tried it anyway.

“What happens if you shine some light on it?”

It just reflects the light back. Easy…

“That is what happens with most human beings. If they get some influence, they will just reflect it back. Be it bad or good. Now, add some more mirrors. And arrange them in such a way they make some kind of mirror bowl. What happens now?”

Ah, this is light science is something I have always been bad at. We had to learn it at elementary magic courses to get an idea about the consequences of using magic. Magic can either be a way to utilize nature or defy it. But before you know which one of both you are doing, you have to know the properties of nature itself. That was the principle of Iluskia’s magic.

Herben looked a bit disappointed noticing my annoyed look. It seems like people in Rorg take nature even more seriously. Well, they are not only studying the properties of nature, but also what they call its nuances. Moreover, my companion seemed to be really passionate about light magic. What a pain…

“Does it not depend on how we arrange the mirrors to form the bowl?” I try to make an impression that I cared. Though I know Herben notices my superficiality. At least I tried.

She sighed. “Yes. I think you know enough about reflectors. Well let’s keep it short: You’re a natural reflector, and a strong one!”

And?

“And the land of Rorg is a huge magic amplifier to its natives! That means, you pick up the magic of other people, and you unconsciously radiate them even stronger, and because Rorg is also an amplifier, the magic that gets radiated becomes… Even stronger!”

I’m not satisfied. “And what does it have to do with me having bad luck? What does everything you say have to do with it? Isn’t that just about magic?”

“But what is magic?”

Now it struck me. It is a difficult question. People say they use magic, but no one really made an exact definition of it. Does it mean she wanted to tell me that my bad luck is also some kind of magic? How creepy…

“Well, at least in Rorg, people call it radiation magic. I don’t know about other places. It is magic that you radiate, just by existing. Some people are more aware of it than others, and that enables them to adjust it accordingly to each situation. But people can’t have full control of their radiation magic, it is more inherent and the most you can do is to be aware of it and tune it down if needed.

Reflectors like you are always tricky people. Inexperienced ones are not aware of their own radiation magic, and just end up radiating the ones from people around them. They normally pick up the strongest radiation and reflect it back to the world. In the worst case scenario, they might end up mistaking other’s radiation magic with their own. It can become quite a mess…”

“So you are saying that the radiation magic I am radiating is mainly the one radiated from other people? And that I might mistake other’s radiation magic as mine?”

“Exactly,” Herben’s eyes lit up when she realized that I had some interest in this topic after all. “And mind you, everyone is very aware of the radiation magic of the people around them. We have an idea about it, but can’t really describe it.” She looked up. “For example, to some people, I might seem like a very pleasant person, to others, I may be annoying. But what do they know about me? Generally, they are just picking up my radiation magic, and decided whether it is compatible with theirs.

Now, imagine someone with a very… negative radiation magic: Someone whose radiation magic just causes restlessness and pain in others. And you meet this person.”

I am beginning to understand. “Which means that I just end up radiating the same ‘negative’ radiation magic? And even stronger?” I don’t believe in positivity and negativity of people. Life is more about good and evil, and if try to categorize things with only two things, it is… Ineffective.

Herben nodded. Now it all makes sense. And Herben also mentioned compatibility. That means that in the end, I just attract people that have a compatible radiation magic with the person whose ‘negative’ radiation magic I accidentally reflect.

“But what am I supposed to do now?” And I immediately understood. “I have to find my own radiation magic? – I mean, become aware of it!”

Herben nodded again.

“And, and… I always have bad luck not because of the bad luck, but because I accidentally reflect some radiation magic which is actually unpleasant for me, which then attracts people whose presence are uncomfortable to me, which makes me uneasy, and also makes the land of Rorg release all the difficult magic around me! It is a… Feedback loop! And I have to break it!”

I got very excited and jumped out of my chair, then ran outside. Now I understand. I need to figure out my own radiation magic. And learn more about that kind of magic. Which means that I have to go up the mountains and be a hermit for some time. Bye Herben, my dear companion – at least for now! I thank you for your insight and am thankful of your wisdom. I, Zyuvale from the Dark Mountains, have to go back to the resting place of my old fathers. I will only come back until I have figured myself out.